Thoughts That May or May Not Be Related

I cannot wait to cut my hair.

Matthew has less than a week left at the job from hell.

Everything and everyone seems to be in a state of flux at the moment.

My sister turns 20 today.

I am 100 pages into Margaret Atwood’s The Robber Bride and still am not sure where it is going.

On the other hand, I am also 100 pages into The Jane Austen Book Club and I know exactly where it is going because I watched the movie first.

I want to see “Away We Go” as it sounds like a trip Matthew and I would make.

Are we to be forever asking ourselves where home is?

I feel far away from water.

Craziness in Missouri

I’ve decided I need to get back to writing and not think about it all too much, as I am so likely to do. There’s a lot going on in my little world:

- Matthew went to New York and nearly broke his nose. Fun was had by those who were with him, and him prior to said incident.

- My parents and brother came to visit. We went to a Royals/Cardinals game, an independent mystery bookstore that rocked, and the play The Merry Wives of Windsor, which is part of the KC Shakespeare Festival. Fun was had by all, I ate too much, and there were many books. My dad’s knee is healing, but he’ll need to have it replaced sometime in the next year, which is no fun. It was really good to see everyone, especially since…

- Matthew resigned from his job last Thursday. His end date will be sometime in July, but we’re not sure when, as his company would like him to stay on. Fortunately, he’s much relieved and happier since he knows he’s leaving, and we have faith in his job prospects.

- Stephanie and Jason got engaged! Many congratulations! They’re also busy moving to DC, so I hope that’s going well.

- Matt’s family got some news I’d rather not discuss publicly, and so we’re trying to stay close and be supportive.

I also have gotten my prescription refilled, which is a relief for me, as that’s always a bit of a struggle. It’s odd because it’s the one time I feel “sick” and that in itself is depressing. But now that I’m past that, hopefully I can get back to “working with my body,” which I’ve decided is one of my personal Happiness Commandments.  I need to hold true to this, especially as I try to lose some weight. So no one bake or send me any more cookies!

I’m thinking seriously about graduate school, and feel confident I have ruled out wanting to do public policy. I’m looking at English degrees, with the idea being to teach at a community college or the like, or Library Science degrees since I like working in a library and have the experience. If I opted for the latter, I would probably still take English courses for me. And either one I’m going to look into Women’s and Gender Studies courses.

Matthew says I should write a book. I asked him what it would be about, and he said, “Sorrow.” But what do I know of sorrow? I thought. Sometimes I think I should just start writing and see what words come and what stories want to be told.

I’m tired of being surrounded by close-minded people.  And I’m tired of worrying if I’m one of them because I’d like to be surrounded by people who think the same way I do.

I’m tired of negativity.

I’m tired of the guilt, and questions, and unhappiness.

I’m tired of hate and intolerance.

I’m tired of racial problems.

I’m tired of waiting for it all to come crumbling down.

I’m tired of being afraid to apply to grad school.

I’m tired of my dog today.

I’m tired of not knowing where home is, and only knowing where it is not.

I’m tired of unhappiness.

I need a vacation in a very real way.

Unexcused Absences

It’s been nearly two months since my last post, and there’s just no excuse for that.  I’ll rock the lists to catch up.  In the past two months I have:

• Seen my brother in time for his birthday
• Visited Sara, Mike and Caroline in St. Louis
• Spent Memorial Day weekend having dinner with Kate, Joe, Cassandra and Matthew; then spent a day with Cassandra; and a night hanging out with her and Cory
• Paid off one of my credit cards
• Had brunch with Kate
• Read a bit
• Watched a lot of NBA playoffs

That about sums it up.  Currently, I’m sick and have been ever since Monday, which is no fun, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s Ben Folds concert with Kevin, Sarah and Matthew, and then Matthew’s birthday is on Sunday.  We’ve been a bit low-key as the job situation is precarious and stressful, but I think we’ll still manage to have a good time this weekend and maybe even relax.  I’ve decided maybe this whole “grown up” thing is not for me and Matthew and I should just chuck it all and take a roadtrip around the country with the dog (not so sure Sadie is down with the road trips), so if that becomes the case, I’m sure I’ll be calling people for a couch to sleep on.  Aside from that, how is it that half of 2009 has gone so fast?

Movies at the Bungalow.

Finally, Matthew and I have energy to do more than just come home from work, cuddle up in blankets, shiver and then fall asleep at 8 p.m. This means that we are beginning to rediscover movies, which both of us like quite a bit. Now, we still haven’t ventured out of the house to watch movies, as the temperatures are not welcoming, but the mailman (who is a man) has been busy with our Netflix.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall- Enjoyed much more than I thought I would. Sweet and funny even if I did see a little bit more of Jason Segel’s junk than I needed to. But it is nice to see a naked guy in a movie instead of the requisite naked girl.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona- Liked, though didn’t leave me affected like Match Point. Great acting and casting. Lessons I took from this: don’t fall in love with a Spanish painter because his crazy ex-wife will still be crazy, and connections to exes are always complicated. Also it sucks to be the person who makes two other people’s relationship work- you never quite come out a winner (although Scarlett Johansson didn’t do too badly). All in all, this movie is likable without beating you over the head with any deep realizations about life or love.  Additionally, Javier Bardem is hot.  I’ll be Netflix’ing Love in the Time of Cholera soon.

Pineapple Express- Didn’t like, and suggested we turn it off halfway through. I don’t mind pot movies when they’re funny, make sense and keep moving, much like Seth Rogen’s Knocked Up in which he and his friends are high a fair amount of the time. But I don’t have a lot of patience for the only plot point really being “Main character goes to see his dealer, they proceed to get high on some new kind of weed. Repeat every 15 minutes.” Maybe you have to be stoned for these movies to be funny, or thirteen and wishing you were stoned. Or maybe I just have no sense of humor and not enough patience and the best parts were coming up.

Quantum of Solace- Watched for the second time because Matt was busy working for the money and missed getting to see it in the theater. I don’t think I jumped as much this time, and I think I caught a lot more of the subtle plot points that I missed the first time because of said jumping. I also like that Bond and the main chick are not romantically linked, but instead have an understanding of each other’s grief and desire for revenge. Definitely okay with Daniel Craig as Bond.

Role Models- Ridiculous, but entertaining in the way that Paul Rudd is always entertaining. In this movie his character is more of an asshole than normal, and the ending is completely absurd, but I did laugh a fair amount. I just think I’m less inclined to re-watch this movie versus Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Up next: Slumdog Millionaire.

So. Addictive.

Accomplishments

1.  Caught up on filing and all of the papers that were all over the desk and kitchen table are now put away.

2. The table is cleaned off!

3. Put box for Half Price and box for Goodwill in my car (hey, baby steps).

4. Posted in Gouda Buddha Books.

5. Have started getting caught up on my Tumblrs, especially my decor one.  Next step: start posting in decor blog again.

6. Survived this week.

Two Trailers

Where the Wild Things Are.

500 Days of Summer.

Rock. My. Socks.

Another List?

I had every intention of writing a non-list post.  Really, I did.  But then I wrote my Paroxi-Wife Wednesday post for Hardwood Paroxsym, and a post for Gouda Buddha Books, and now I am tired.  But I still have things to say, including:

- I am not sorry I voted for President Obama.  Please stop suggesting to me that I should be, or will be at some point in the future.

- As great as my new workplace is, I’m still struck with bouts of awkwardness and embarassment at possibly having said/done the wrong thing.

- I caved and bought books this past weekend even though one of my New Year’s Resolutions was no new books until April.  Still, two out of three months is pretty good, and if I keep it under control this month, then I’ll have done REALLY well over all, especially considering my genes and normal book-buying habits.

- Another New Year’s Resolution, to go back to cutting my sandwiches in half diagonally instead of straight down the middle, is going very well.  I was absolutely right: sandwiches in the shape of a triangle do taste better.

- I’m really pissed off about The Bachelor, and won’t be watching it anymore.  In fact, I had planned to donate an entire blog post to this topic, but a) sleep is more important and b) I have a feeling all of this uproar might have been exactly what those bastards wanted.

- House’s Season 4 finale rips your heart out, and I was not informed of this ahead of time: who dropped the ball?  I need to be prepped for things like this!

- I like being paid again, but man, it is taking my body awhile to adjust to the new sleep schedule.  Maybe my expectations are too high, or maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable sleeping in until 11:30 a.m., but either way, I’m coming home with not a lot of energy to do much of anything.  This “anything” includes: reading, writing, calling people on the phone, writing notes/letters, focusing on TV shows, catching up on my Google Reader, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, and tolerating pet squabbles.  Things I can do, however, include: shower, put on comfy pants, huddle under blankets and zone out.

- Along these lines, I feel like I’m keeping my head above water in terms of functioning, but hoping to pick it up quite a bit in the next few weeks.  I miss being productive.

- Working again is going to be bad for my weight, as well as my coffee intake.

- I have high hopes that spring will come sooner rather than later.